Sex and Porn Addiction

The power of the universe will come up underneath you as you turn your attention in this new direction.

 

So Let's Start with Miracles!

"The miracle is the option. There is indulgence, there is repression, and then there is the miracle. What is a miracle? A miracle is simply a shift in perception from a fear-based assumption or belief to a love-based reality. The indulgence and repression of fear-based behavior does not go anywhere; it stays caught in a loop of frustration and fear, but the miracle dissolves this and takes you in a new direction. We get in touch with our Source." ~David Hoffmeister

The essential step is to change your thinking, not to focus on behavior and form. Isn’t that fresh?! Behavior flows from thought, and transformation of the mind is synonymous with changing thought patterns from ego-based fear to Spirit-based Love.

 

Releasing Addiction

The core of alcoholism, anorexia, bulimia, smoking, and a host of things the world calls addictions, is control. Turning something over to an invisible power—call it the quantum field, your higher Self, or God—is a leap of faith that helps you to let go of attempting to control outcomes. As you can imagine, not trying to control the behavior leads to a very different focus!

 

Let the Spirit Do It!

This little willingness the Spirit asks is the key to letting go of the attempt to manage the body and the world. This is really an insane attempt to maintain a self-concept/self-image that is hellbent on control so it can feel safe. A Course in Miracles states this plainly:

“Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world." 

This video will take you through the levels of mind so you can trace it all the way in and see what is driving you. It’s essential to see what you really want and get honest about it.

 

Levels of Mind

 

Sex and Porn Addiction

 

Movies

We use movies to open the mind and to see what thoughts are believed in—which ones trigger your emotions—so they can be looked at and consciously released from a fixed position. Doing this brings the mind into a more peaceful state. Watching movies with the intention for healing is a safe way to release pain and fear from your mind. For more about using movies for healing, go to mwge.org.

 

Thanks for Sharing

Getting in touch with one's higher power is the answer. Being of service lifts the mind into a higher purpose and into alignment with being helpful. In this alignment, the mind is lifted from the battleground. In this movie, the characters are very aware of the two thought systems, and what happens to them when they are lost in the ego's world of pleasure and pain. It is hell, and it takes great vigilance and determination to stay right-minded. Thank God for mighty companions, and for opportunities to be of service. There is so much love and support available when healing is desired above all else.

Don Jon

Addiction seems to bring temporary pleasure, but, as it is a denial of Self, then it is a cover over of guilt/pain. Seeking pleasure as a way to ease the belief in lack is a distraction from remembering the Truth; the reality that we are inherently whole and complete. Fantasies have nothing at all to do with love or Truth.

This movie shows the ego's use of special relationships and the belief that someone else can give us something that we need. Unlike the ego's use of relationship as a way to get something from a brother, the Spirit views relationships as an opportunity to give what you would receive. Spirit-guided relationships have no expectations or attempts to get. Instead, they are based on complete acceptance. They offer a space in which private thoughts and beliefs can be expressed freely without judgment. Spirit would have us join with our brothers as a way of remembering our innocence. Open and honest communication is key. All that was really wanted was a real connection; to merge into an experience of Oneness beyond thought.

Click here to find trailers for this movie.

 

How to Heal Addiction

 

 

Porn and the Spiritual Calling

 

 

Questions and Answers with David Hoffmeister

Is sex always ego-based or could it also be an act of love?

Hello David!
I am writing to you from Miramar Argentina. I have been wondering what your view about having sex is? Sometimes I think that in a way that it is a part of our ego, trying to make our minds think only about what the body might need. But I have talked it over with friends and we’ve come to the conclusion that depending on the situation or the person that you are with, it is also an act of love, if you are doing it with the person you love. Acts of love are many, miracles I would call them. So what does A Course in Miracles say about it?

What is your view?

Love always

 


 

Hello Beloved One,

Thanks for writing. Sex in a loving relationship dedicated to the Holy Spirit and Guided by the Holy Spirit is—in this sense—an act of affection, and can continue to be so until the mind has become so unified in Purpose that there are no cravings or desires for form of any kind. When this desirelessness happens there is truly the miracle of Atonement and Christ is fulfilled in the Divine Love of Knowing God in Spirit. The miracle of Atonement transcends or dissolves the attraction to guilt in the sleeping mind. Sex solely for the purpose of pleasure and sensual gratification is an ego motivation, attempting to reinforce the reality of the body, and this always involves the illusion of guilt. In ACIM Christ speaks about the attraction to pain and pleasure, this involves the attraction to the body and world—so as one deepens in Awakening the desires for anything of this world evaporate or fade away and Joy radiates from within! All seeming needs or lacks are gone in Divine Love.

Let the Spirit within Guide you in all things moment by moment.

Love & Blessings!
David

 

Why are sexual relationships so complicated?

Greetings David,

I have been reading A Course in Miracles for 6 months and am also doing the lessons in the Workbook. When I received this book I knew that the words within its covers were meant to be read by me, and its message resounds clearly with the light within.

I am particularly confused about the area of sexuality at the moment. I find myself in a situation where I am being offered a sexual relationship with a married man who is also sexually involved with a friend who lives in the same house as me. This ‘appears’ to be a particularly complicated situation.

Recently I admitted to this man that I was attempting to avoid the physical pain I experienced in sex by not getting involved in a sexual relationship. He offered me the chance to be with him, as someone who trusted that I could have a pain-free experience and who was willing to be patient in looking for that experience with me.

I accepted his offer and found that I was willing to express the pain in front of him instead of trying to hide it—which I had done in previous relationships, and that once we talked openly about it, I was able to have a sexual experience that was pain free. This was quite an intense experience for me and when he spent the following night with my house mate I found fear coming to the surface. I doubted that there had actually been a meeting of anything other than two egos when we were together and that he was simply out to get whatever he could.

I am confused by the fact that I am being offered this experience with a man who is now sexually involved with 3 different women and married to one of them. It is very hard to believe that there is no judgement placed upon me for getting involved in such a situation. I am also finding it difficult to maintain a friendship with my house mate when we are both involved with the same man.

It seems that I have just opened a part of my mind that I had sought to keep firmly apart from the rest until recently and it appears to have resulted in much confusion!

As the Course is all about relationships I am sure that this is a gift to all of us involved in this strange situation, but at the same time I consider the possibility that I am just deluding myself into believing that I want something other than the truth.

I would be so grateful to hear some words from you brother.

 


 

Beloved One,

Thanks for sharing what is on your heart. The ego is flushed up and exposed in relationships, and aligning with the ego brings illusory experiences of pleasure and pain. Distorted miracle impulses reach awareness as cravings, and in this regard sexual cravings are the same as cravings for food, drink, temperature, stimulation, etc.

Cravings always involve lack and preferences, and the miracle leads past this distorted perception of the world. As the ego belief system is questioned and exposed and released the “lens of lack" is cleared of all obstacles to peace. When this happens miracle impulses are experienced directly in awareness as Love and Calls for Love. Wholeness and completion are the natural characteristics of the mind, and the miracle returns these characteristics to awareness.

Complexity is always of the ego. The ego uses relationships for gratification and the ego, being impulsive and unstable, has no conception of commitment. Commitment to a monogamous interpersonal relationship is a step that the Holy Spirit can use—as with any commitment or discipline—to open the mind to the sole or ultimate commitment that one can make: accepting the Atonement or Awakening to God's Love. I have referred to the ego's purpose for relationships as dixie cup relationships. The ego seems to throw its relationships away once it seems to get what it thinks it wants and moves on to the next relationship for another drink.

Simultaneous sexual relationships or open relationships as they have been called seem to add to the complexity. A monogamous interpersonal relationship can offer a full plate of opportunities to expose and forgive the ego, and the undoing of the ego—forgiveness, is the only Purpose for all relationships. The ultimate realization, Self-realization, is the recognition that Creator and Creation share the same Spirit of Love. At best all perceptual relationships reflect the Love of God, and this Agape Love inspires forgiveness and miracles.

The Holy Spirit Guides surely. Simplicity is of God, and the illusion of complexity is the error to be forgiven.

Love always,
David

See our other topics on addiction:

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