Relationships – How to Forgive

Unlike many other spiritual pathways which advocate meditation alone, A Course in Miracles is one that emphasizes the use of our relationships as a fast-track to spiritual Enlightenment. Why? Because only through relationships do we learn how to forgive, and true forgiveness leads to consistent inner peace. The topic of relationships and how to forgive has been discussed at length by David in his talks, and powerfully demonstrated by the way he lives his life.

Below is a very helpful video on the subject of using relationships for Awakening. After watching it, scroll down through the subcategories in our Q&A directory for answers to your specific areas of interest.

Spiritual Answers to Modern-Day Problems:

Relationships – How to Forgive


Question and Answer resource

Click on any of the topics below for a list of questions and answers and additional resources within our Q&A directory. You can also on the Q&A image above to explore this section of the Q&A directory in general.

Family and Friends
General, Special Relationships, Holy Relationships
Leader/Follower, Teacher/Student, Therapist/Patient
Nature and Animals
Parenting and Children
Sexuality and Romance
Spiritual Community, Mighty Companions
World issues (Society, Politics, Environment, War, etc.)


Special Relationships vs. Holy Relationships

With any relationship in form, the question to ask oneself is always, “What is the fundamental, underlying purpose of it really?” Our purpose in every moment for our relationships is what determines how we will feel. The ego’s purpose will have us seeking to get something from the other, and the Holy Spirit’s purpose will have us using the relationship to practice true forgiveness which sees beyond the interpersonal level.

What humans call “romance” is an ego-invented experience that was made as a substitute for the Love of God. It is born out of the belief in lack, which results in a desire to “get” something from the other. Holy relationships, on the other hand, are used purely to have the experience of feeling the love that we are be given through us. They are dedicated to a higher purpose and are therefore purely joyful.

In the following videos, David explores the many nuances that arise in interpersonal relationships that involve romance and specialness. How does one transcend the desire for specialness and romance? Only through a willingness to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit.


When Should You End a Relationship?

As you grow spiritually and take the limits off your consciousness, you outgrow interpersonal special relationships much as a child outgrows toys. You experience true inner peace and no longer have a subconscious need to have past grievances  acted out. Instead of seeing only certain people as our family, you see everyone as your family and experience oneness.

Before this point is reached, there will be many seeming decisions to make regarding when to stay and when to go; when to leave a relationship and when to stick it out, etc. These decisions can only be made by joining with the Holy Spirit and being willing to let Him make all decisions for you. You will never be guided to “cut someone off,” but you may certainly be guided to move on in certainty and love. Even though it may appear as though certain ones are being “left behind”, no one is ever excluded from the Love of God. It requires a willingness to look beyond persons and bodies and recognize the one mind we all share.

Open your mind to a new way of perceiving relationships and allow yourself to be guided regarding the “stay or leave” types of decisions. The following video of David will help you in understanding these profound ideas.


Family Relationships

As we go deeper on the spiritual journey, it is very common to outgrow the idea that our biological family is somehow more special than the rest of our brothers and sisters in Christ. We begin to see that everyone is related to us in the family of God. Gradually, the Holy Spirit washes away the specialness that we’ve associated with certain people from our past, and allows everyone else to be included.

Enjoy the writing from David below, and then watch the videos further down the page for an exploration of how we can release the guilt and reciprocity associated with the world’s concept of “family.”

Everyone is our Family in Christ, in the Living Moment. Past associations seemed to veil the Light of Now, yet shadow figures have no power to hide the truth to a mind willing to Awaken. As the mind follows the promptings of the Holy Spirit, the judgments and meanings and boxes and roles assigned to the dream figures fade and grow dim and disappear. What remains is a recognition of the Spirit within. The I-Am Presence is Thy Self, far beyond the concepts and roles the world esteems as valuable and real. Having been Called out of the thinking of the world, it is now impossible to remain identified to a limited identity or role. Forgiveness is a concept that can safely be substituted for the meaningless roles that were made to hold onto guilt and maintain a separate will from the Oneness of Heaven. The world’s roles were ego ideals made to take the place of Union in God, yet our Oneness in God is the Eternal Reality of our Being. Today happily let go of all littleness and accept the Magnitude of Life in God. Ask not for the tiny things and illusory comforts of bodies and past associations, and they will disappear from awareness in the twinkling of an eye. In our Divine Will is everything and everyone included, and nothing is kept apart.



Parenting and Spirituality

The video below is a full-length DVD which was filmed during a workshop about parenting and spirituality given by David in Sweden. Answers are given about the following topics:

1. How to talk with children about God

2. How to handle one’s emotions as a parent

3. The true meaning of teaching and learning

4. The meaning of true equality between parents and children

5. How to deal with violent movies, games, and competition

This video is a must-see for any ACIM parent who wants to go deeper into the application of the Course in this context of parenting!

Thank you for learning about Relationships – How to Forgive!


More deep teachings by David Hoffmeister can be found at ACIM Audios for Awakening!

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